Wednesday, 3 February 2010

The Life of Luxury

Today I cleaned the flat of a rich bachelor, who owns a flat overlooking * Square and the sea. It was in a huge Victorian building also accommodating a Solitor's office. Apart from being full of rubbish 'modart' and leather sofas, it also boasted the most high tech additions I've ever seen. Of particular note was a remote control bath and shower, which can be operated from a button handily located on the bedside table, enabling the lucky bastard to run himself a warm bath before even opening his eyes. If he deigned get up, he didn't have to worry about getting his poor little feet cold, for his path to the bathroom was eased by the underfloor heating. Once there, he could watch a bit of tv, which was embedded in the towel rack.

I came home and stood under the dribble of my box shower feeling rather sorry for myself.
I felt a bit better though, because he also had tarot cards and boxes of homeopathic remedies, a definite lose then. All topped off by a signed painting by Stephen Baldwin of religious nut fame. I'll keep my magazine clippings and bare walls I think.

In other news, I was as usual perusing Jezebel and read this amazing piece on recent etymological Bible studies: apparently Eve wasn't born from Adam's rib, but from his 'Bone' or boner. Which makes alot more sense when you think about it. Also, I learnt a new trick which will definitely become a habit: Them Bible day people also swore their oaths by grasping each other's genitals! I can see that catching on in Law and Order can't you? Any news which deals a blow to religious puritanism is good news.
Jezebel

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